August 17, 2024
Imagine.
Waking up one morning and it dawns on you.
You’ve been living in a temporary fog-
a gentle, disorienting haze that’s muffled your true sense of yourself.
What if I assured you the fog is thinner than you think?
The sun is close-
Closer than you realize.
It’s totally within your reach.
Listen…
As a Mom of many children,
who lived in an emotionless, disconnected state
from my early 20s until my late 30s,
it has become my life’s work to help other Moms
feel their essence again.
I am on the other side of that river of disconnect now.
And I’m here to tell you,
it’s way more simple than you realize, yet.
Let me share with you what I consider the key
to letting yourself resurface again:
It is only to REALIZE that you have NOT lost yourself.
Your essence is still in tact- it’s still alive.
Nothing is dead. Nothing is gone.
When you find a space where you can feel yourself again,
when you see your inner world,
When your intuition is almost palpable,
you will know–
it’s still intact.
It is alive.
It’s truly that simple.
The haze is already lifting, if you’re connecting with what I’m saying.
I am so glad you’re here.
Envision.
A world within yourself where true emotions are experimented with–
Where you’re aware of what you really feel-
Where sincere feelings are allowed, accepted, and even summoned forth.
No more act, no more put-on, no more facade-
that is not what’s encouraged in you here-
maybe everywhere else,
but not here.
It’s only you, no one else-
and you are allowing yourself to feel…whatever the hell you feel.
I made an album– it’s intention is to be that space for you.
The resurfacing of yourself is on the horizon.
It’s about touching your core again,
not finding it or retrieving it.
It isn’t lost.
You have not lost yourself.
It’s truly that simple.
You only need a space to touch it again, to feel it.
For some of us,
that space is no easy thing to find.
I didn’t feel comfortable going inside of myself,
and it felt nearly impossible to
genuinely explore myself with anyone in my life through my 20’s and 30’s.
It seemed to me,
as far as the essence of me was concerned,
if it was able to be lost,
mine had been lost sometime in my early twenties.
I figured it had either been killed by myself or others,
or I had decidedly just let it go
due to my apathy and lack of acknowledgment of it
for so many years.
Either way,
it felt as gone as it gets-
And the grief, guilt, and confusion about it was overwhelming.
I had a deep ache for the woman I remembered myself to be,
Because I sure as hell wasn’t her anymore.
But once that space was actualized for me, [read more in this letter, if you want]
and once you create that space for yourself,
everything shifts.
The belief that I was lost disappeared completely- it can happen for you, too.
It made no sense for me to hold the narrative that I had lost myself, because I was plainly able to experience my intuition and essence.
I realized it was much simpler than I thought- it’s so much more simple than you think right now, too.
All it took was recognizing that part of me was still there- and those parts of you are there, too.
It’s about realizing that those parts of you that feel lost
are actually the very parts that are whispering to you, that they feel lost.
They’re alive!
More than that… they’re calling out to you!
They love you.
So,
if you’re like I was, and you feel a deep sense of having lost yourself,
you only have two options for the way out, as far I can tell-
- You embark on a search for your lost essence because it’s gone and you need to find it.
Or
- You encounter your essence one time to prove to yourself that it’s still there, and then go inside over and over and over trusting what you will find.
For me, it was an encounter.
I encountered myself.
It was a breakthrough of my soul, to say the least.
It changed everything,
And I believe I can give you space to do the same.
When I felt myself again- my emotion, my spirit, my soul-
when the numbness and detachment lifted,
and I sensed myself again,
for the first time in at least a decade-
something clicked.
There was no going back from there.
My essence wasn’t lost- and I knew it.
Nobody would be able to convince me otherwise.
It wasn’t gone.
My essence was okay, alive, and I could feel it.
A relief, a loosening, an unbinding
logically settled into me.
It wasn’t only emotion that I felt.
This was reasoning.
This made sense.
I had not lost myself.
And I knew it.
I had confirmed it to myself.
I could feel it.
It had been tucked away,
But it was not dead.
In fact, I felt so grateful to myself for having kept it safe and alive for all those years.
I loved myself way more than I thought I did, the whole time.
I only needed a means to touch it again.
I hope that the safe space I created in The Profound Playground
becomes that safe space for a mother who might be very much like me.
With love,
Angel